Today something was sparked in my mind, and it was because of three scratch cards that I purchased. Now I bet you never thought that three pointless pieces of paper could inspire somebody to write a blog did yah? But here we are, and this is happening, well it’s already happened, and you are just reading it.
Life sometimes seems a little bit pointless, you wake up in the morning in the same place as you did yesterday and the night before that (unless you are some kind of sex hunter, sorry, not hunter that sounds illegal, sex doer, I shall call it) so yes, you have the same breakfast everyday, you do the same job everyday. But, you do know you don’t have to do that don’t you?
You can, mix it up, have a bit of grapefruit juice. Instead of your standard Happy Shopper orange. NO NO NO, this is much more deep than what your juice choices are in the morning. This is life, if you want to do something then just try and do it. Unless it’s rape, murder, suicide and all them, don’t do them, get a bit of help. There are people out there for you lot! JESUS, the likely hood of a murderer reading this is pretty low, I’d say.) ANYWAY, back on track…
So yes, if you want to be a musician then go and buy a guitar for fuck sake, if you wanna write music, then do it, if you want to paint then do it, stop thinking, ‘yeah I’d like to do that one day’, yeah? Well do it. Just do it. Because your time is precious, so make the most of it.
So basically, back to the supermarket “Buy three scratch cards young Dave”, “why I think I will,” I thought, clutching onto my lunch.
So I got home scratched away at the cards. 1 pound each they cost me, I’m not moaning about that, just stating a fact.
That sounded like a little old women moaning about the price of stamps. Get with the times love, cos stamps are going up, petrol is rising and the price of mostly everything is and it will be forever. So yeah 3 quidsssss in total, it cost me.
So I scratched away, first one, wow, I won, I won, ONE quid, oh okay, well hopefully the other two will be a better sum of money. Next scratch card, Oh, NO QUIDSSS at all. So here we go, the last one in my hand, I take a pound (for good luck, as if to inspire Oprah, or whoever it is who hands out good fortune these days, to help me win) and yes, I won, I won, again, 2 quids this time.
So basically the morale of this story is. Life might seem pointless, and if it does, try and have a good laugh whilst your doing the life. However, I urge you to seek more fun than the fun you gather from spending three quid, getting three quid back, but only if you travel back to get your 3 quid, and in turn basically wasting your life.
So yeah, if you wanna do something, then do it.
If you think life is pointless, you might be right, but also, you could be wrong. If you’ve got big dreams, don’t be scared to tell people them, if somebody laughs at you then fuck ‘em, they are off the Christmas card list and they can say goodbye to the after party invites.
And enjoy your Grapefruit juice that you are gonna have tomorrow for breaky.
Yours gracefully
Dave
p.s If you didn’t understand, grapefruit juice is a metaphor for whatever it is that you want to do. Not as good if you have to explain that kind of thing though is it? So just forget about this bit.
(Source: thedavewilliams.wordpress.com)
Lovely pair!
Oranges.
Dear The Public,
As we know, the public are idiots. (What an excellent way to start a piece of writing, especially when it’s in fact addressed to the people that I am calling, idiots) It’s a well known fact. If you are reading this, it means you are a member of the public, and you are an idiot. Well, possibly.
”The customer is always right”. This is a prime example of why the public are morons. You aren’t always right, in fact generally you are very wrong, oh and did I mention, probably an idiot.
I have an example of this, one morning I strolled (don’t know why I strolled but this particular morning I did do a stroll) grabbed myself a coffee made from the limescale covered tee urn water, and the long life milk that tastes of a Turkish wrestlers jock strap (not that I have ever tried), I then was gracefully blessed with a phone call from, who I shall refer to as Mr Jobsworth. Mr Jobsworth had obviously not had his weekly dose of whatever he needs for his brain to work like human person. (a human person, ha, I like that)
He said ”Can I speak to (enter colleagues name here)”
I replied ”(enter colleagues name here) is on the phone at the moment can I help you at all Mr Jobsworth?” (note the kind tone).
Mr J said ”no I need to talk to her and the customer is always right, so I either talk to her right now, or I will never ring this number again. Now put me onto her”
Now, I swiftly took the action of, ”Okay sir, goodbye” which I thought was a fair comment as it wasn’t possible to put (enter colleagues name here) on Mr J.
So this highlights in a long winded way that the public are idiots. The worst thing that has ever happened is for people to be trained into thinking that’ they have to treat the customer well as they are always right,’ because they aren’t, most of the time they are infact, wrong.
The worst thing that ever has happened in the world, is for somebody to have once worked in retail. And you can use that quote.
It’s a myth, why is the customer always right? If the customer thinks they are always right, are they actually worth the hassle?
The saying is actually, ‘The customer pays for your food and alcohol, so keep them sweet and you will get paid at the end of the month, me ol’ mate’
Next bit about Complaining.
I want to know, why do people complain about stuff? What’s the point?
How do you even get into the position of complaining about something? If you are watching/listening to something that stars somebody that you, DO NOT like, then you have to question yourself for a start. Just turn it over.
Say there is a television program with somebody controversial in it, I shall use Russell Brand or Ricky Gervais as an example, and you know that you don’t like these two comedians, then why are you watching it? If you know you will be offended then why are you watching it?
One of the most evident examples of this was Russell Brand’s Radio Show on BBC Radio 2 with Matt Morgan, the poet laureate Mr Gee and occasionally the casual but regular special guest Noel Gallagher. When the biggest radio ”scandal” in BBC history was first aired the regular listeners where brilliantly entertained by the not so light hearted answer phone messages left on Manuel’s phone.
However once one person got their grubby little pessimistic paws on this, even people who had never even heard of the Radio Show (which is a fucking scandal in itself) started to complain. I would be bold enough to say that 95% of the complaints towards this show were by people who hadn’t even heard of the show let alone listened to it.
So once this was heard by one single narrow minded hermit of a human that was the end the radio show was released and condemned to the pits of hell, which for Radio was a disaster.
What type of society do we live in, where it gives the public endless joy to complain about something that doesn’t even matter to them?
Of course it upset Manuel, and he was rightly apologised to, and he swiftly carried on with his bar work, but why does it affect Mrs Nora of Dartford? (There probably is a Mrs Nora in Dartford, but I don’t know if there is for sure).
We live in a society full of pessimism, complaints and anger. But why? Who can be bothered to get worked up about it? That’s right, the idiots.
Maybe it’s a British thing? Probably.
So there we have it, a complaint about a complaint.
Regards
D
(Source: thedavewilliams.wordpress.com)
So, after a half cloudy half brilliantly weathered holiday in Tenerife, I have arrived back to my laptop in my house. Sitting here, realising how much I have in my control. My whole life is in my hands, interesting. So, the first thing I do when I open my laptop is to start from where I left off, managing Aston Villa’s top 5 push on Football Manager 2012.
(Source: thedavewilliams.blogspot.com)
I will return, I have returned, to document my life experiences and stupid thoughts that nobody cares about I also have created a blogspot thang, as personally I find that blogspots medium of blogging is a more ‘professional’ dynamic to produce and advertise my thoughts to the world.
I will post some of the blogspot posts onto this wonderful machine named ‘tumblr’ I will use both as a sort of blog affair.
It may be very egotistical of me, but I am quite an idiot, and quite funny and I believe that I can literally take over the world with my words and personality.
This is my blogspot/blogger profile.
http://www.blogger.com/profile/16661085582727119693
The picture is of me and a hat, I will write about so much stuff that it will probably make you develop a brain disease, but in a good way!
Regards
I just realised people don’t have enough conversation in their lives, people don’t interact with eachother as much as they should, and it’s so stupid because everyone is on social networking sites all day.
Why don’t people like talking? COME ON CHAPS, GET INVOLVED!
McVities are missing out on a whole market here, they need to make an explicit type of Penguin bar, with 18+ only on it. With rude and vulgar jokes on them. I have more ideas.
I said it ages ago but I have again noticed that when people are waiting at traffic lights whilst driving they smell the back of their hand. Now why do they do this? Not only that I did it earlier and I thought, why was I smelling the back of my hand? So this is my question to the rest of the world. Do you smell the back of your hand?
Haven’t done a little bit of blogging on here for a while now.
Why do people smell their hand when they drive? I noticed that I was smelling my hand whilst I was driving, such a weird experience!
A salami and fried egg sandwich!
Classic banter!
This game is dangerous in the presence of either an uncle or these lads, 
I’m not sure why people cut themselves on the arm or wherever else.
If you are sad, why would you want to cut yourself, it just makes you a bit sadder doesn’t it?
Why not just watch a good film? Or have a few drinks? Or do something that’s a laugh?
